Dreaming

Dreaming is soured with 

Pressure and soaked in pain;

I feel manually programmed 

To be ungrateful and feel 

Only shame  

Unworthy of praise 

‘Till I desecrate my ordinary, 

Delicate life, screaming in 

Agony as I go through 

Another phase, 

But I am no dreamer, 

I want my ‘boring’ reality;

I want my eyes to close in delight

As my fingers curl around the warmth

And I breath in comfort at morning’s first light 

I’ll find meaning deeper 

Than societal gloat; 

In the little things 

I will shimmer, 

And do more than just 

Stay afloat, 

I will feel my eyebrows curl inward

And my smile lift my cheeks

As I look at my husband once again

Like my heart had just now felt that heat

Pure contentment will wash over me

Seeing Leia’s giddy wags get batted

By the clumsy paws of our quirky kitty

It is in the day-to-day 

that our foundation is added

And that is my philosophy

As my simplistic life builds 

Bridges to my heart. 

I no longer have to push myself, 

Dreaming, 

Until I fall apart.